Many of us have been wronged in life. This is the human condition to have someone do or say something about us that is incorrect or hurts us in some way. We have as homo sapiens been experiencing this since the dawn of time. We have the unique ability to be able to have feelings and these feelings can serve us or can be an Achilles heal. When we are hurt by another’s actions, the natural fight or flight response that we feel often times gives rise for us to retaliate. This urge for revenge can create more problems than the original hurt or offense.
When we react defensively and then offensively the result is many times met with an equally strong defensive and offensive posture by the other person. This tit for tat robs us of precious energy that we could otherwise direct toward improving ourselves. A look at history brings to light many unfortunate and tragic events arising out of a sense of revenge. Look at the infamous duel between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton was tragically killed as a result and Burr was never the same after the event.
When this tendency for payback comes it often attracts what I like to call the skunks in life. You no doubt know that skunks have a powerful odiferous component, and when this is released it makes life unpleasant for everyone nearby. That is what happens when we attempt to seek retribution. We bring skunks into the situation and the air is fouled up, many times for good.
What should we do instead? I like to use a technique from my martial arts study. I learned an art called Hapkido or the “Way of Coordinated Power”. In this art, force was never met head on with force. A Hapkidoist would deflect the power of an attack away from him or her self. In this way, the warrior could reserve precious energy. If someone says or does something to wrong you, deflect the comment. Resist the urge to meet the force head on. If you meet this force head on, be prepared for attracting a skunk!
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Too many people react harshly to something and then don’t understand why they are greeted with the same sort of response in return. It’s common sense!